Memorial Day, 2013

I had been meaning to go to Ambassador Chris Stevens' gravesite to pay my respects for some time now. Today was the day when it seemed the most fitting. I went there for several reasons.. but the biggest reason was for Glen Doherty and Ty Woods, the men who ran to the sound of gunfire to help Americans who were in trouble. I say this not to diminish the work and lives of  Chris Stevens or Sean Smith, by any means. But being a first responder I relate to Glen and Ty, and that grave is the closest thing to a memorial for them I could get to.

I stayed there for a while, and I said a prayer for all four of them. I left a small token of my visit. But I also apologized, as an American, for letting them down. I know... I wasn't there, I wasn't in the chain of command, there was nothing at all I could have done a half a world away that would have made any difference in the events at Benghazi that terrible night. But as an American, and as a first responder, Benghazi haunts me, and breaks my heart. It's not what we do, leaving our brothers unaided and alone, to die at the hand of the enemy. Glen and Ty answered the call. Why didn't we answer their call?

Today there were a lot of American flags next to Ambassador Stevens' headstone. It's a simple family plot in an old cemetery, with a beautiful big cedar tree right overhead. Someone had left flowers, and a note. The note contained an apology to Ambassador Stevens for our country failing him. It was wet and was falling apart in my hands as I read it. I gently put it back, said a last prayer, and left.

On my way home, the skies were gray and it kept trying off and on to rain. A small silver car was trying to change lanes in front of me. When I saw what was on her car, I slowed down and gave her plenty of room. Next to the license plate were two stickers: a USMC emblem and a Gold Star flag. I remember thinking that we have Memorial Day once a year, and even though many of us reflect on the sacrifices made more often than once a year, the woman driving that car has Memorial Day every day.

As I am writing this, I did what I said I would do earlier. I raised a dram of the best single malt I own, silently toasted and remembered them, as well as all the others gone before. Thank you for your service, your sacrifice, and the sacrifice of your families and friends.